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sexycoach
Living Legend
United Kingdom
538 Posts |
 Posted - 24 Oct 2006 : 11:48:46
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Ok Girls and Tommy, lets get this site moving. Look out for star ratings on hangovers which I can now safely say I have achieved.
To start with has anyone got any good jokes? Near the knuckle is ok but pure filth will be removed by the Webmaster who will be the censor and I will censor him. You have been warned!!
What about these?
WHAT DO YOU CALL AN ENGLISHMAN HOLDING A BOTTLE OF CHAMPAGNE AFTER A SIX NATIONS GAME??
WAITER!!
(I absolutely roared at that one)
Three Irishmen - Paddy, Sean and Seamus, were stumbling home from the pub late one night and found themselves on the road which led past the old graveyard.
"Come have a look over here" says Paddy, "Its Michael O'Gradys grave, God bless his soul. He lived to the ripe old age of 87"
"Thats nothing," says Sean, "Heres one named Patrick O'Toole, it says here that he was 95 when he died"
Just then, Seamus yells out, "Good God, heres a fella that got to be 145!"
"Good Lord what was his name?" asks Paddy
Seamus stumbles around a bit, awkwardly lights a match to see what else is written on the stone marker and exclaims:
"Miles, from Dublin"
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Edited by - sexycoach on 24 Oct 2006 18:02:10 |
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gouldilocks
Who's the Daddy
United Kingdom
108 Posts |
Posted - 24 Oct 2006 : 16:35:48
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hehehehe!!!! lol!
How about this one.....
A man walks up close to a lady co worker and tells her "your hair smells nice"
After a week of this she puts in a sexual harassment complaint against him.
The personnel manager said " whats wrong with him saying your hair smells nice?"
"Because its Kevin the f**king dwarf!!!"
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mrleech
Not yet a Jedi
72 Posts |
Posted - 24 Oct 2006 : 16:42:31
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| Yuk that ones gross gouldilocks, love the idea of havin jokes!! |
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gouldilocks
Who's the Daddy
United Kingdom
108 Posts |
Posted - 24 Oct 2006 : 16:56:33
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Yeah me too....
Women eh?
Boob jobs, pierced ears, nipples, bellys and clits, eyebrows plucked, bikini lines and legs waxed......
.....and they won't take it up the a**e 'cos it HURTS!?!
Any better?
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M-Love
Moderate!
United Kingdom
376 Posts |
Posted - 24 Oct 2006 : 18:48:17
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| Sexism and Racism? I am apalled! |
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Tomituous
Who's the Daddy
143 Posts |
Posted - 24 Oct 2006 : 22:02:41
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why do women wear perfume and make up?..........
Cause they're ugly and they ****in stink ;o)
Dont spose you know any jokes fit for on here do ya mickey?
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gouldilocks
Who's the Daddy
United Kingdom
108 Posts |
Posted - 24 Oct 2006 : 22:11:18
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Three guys in speech therapy in Dublin.
Woman says "if you can say where you are from without stuttering I'll give you a blow job!"
First Shaun says "D.D.D.Dublin!"
Mick says "C.C.C.Cork!"
Paddy says "London"
She drops to her knees and sucks his c**k.
As he cums he shouts "d.d.d.derry!!!"
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sexycoach
Living Legend
United Kingdom
538 Posts |
Posted - 25 Oct 2006 : 16:43:45
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One morning Andy wakes up to find that his dog is lying dead on the floor.
He cant quite believe it , so he takes it to the vet.
"I'm sorry Andy - your dog is dead" says the Vet.
" It cant be" cries Andy "I demand a second opinion"
So the vet goes into a back room and comes out with a cat which he puts next to the dead dog.
The cat sniffs the dog and goes "meeow"
The vet says " There that proves your dog is dead"
Andy says "No! No! I want another opinion!"
So the vet goes and gets a Labrador which also sniffs the dog all over and then writes "DEAD" on a piece of paper.
With that Andy agress that his dog is dead
"Right" says the vet "That will be three hundred and fifty pounds please"
"What? Just to tell me my dogs dead?" asks Andy in amazement.
"Well" says the vet " That will be fifty quid for my diagnosis, two hundred for the cat scan and a hundred for the lab report"
See ladies they do not need to be rude to be funny!!! |
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gouldilocks
Who's the Daddy
United Kingdom
108 Posts |
Posted - 25 Oct 2006 : 19:56:50
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3 women in a bar, discussing their men.
First woman says "He's like a Mercedes - easily started and very comfortable!"
Second one says "He's like a BMW - easily started and very fast!"
Finally, the third woman describes her man "He's like an old Massey Ferguson tractor - you start him by hand and jump on when he's going!!!"
Sorry Sexycoach, this is about as clean as I can do!! |
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mrleech
Not yet a Jedi
72 Posts |
Posted - 25 Oct 2006 : 21:25:41
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Hi sexy coach the leeches have this joke for the site, tell simes off if its too rude as its his joke!!!
A man is in a hotel lift when he accidentally bumps into the adjacent young lady's breast with his elbow.
"I'm so sorry" he says to her "but if your heart is as soft as your breast then you will forgive me".
"That's ok" replies the young lady,"but if your c**k is as hard as your elbow i'm in room 122"
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gouldilocks
Who's the Daddy
United Kingdom
108 Posts |
Posted - 25 Oct 2006 : 21:59:01
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Octopus walks into a bar and says "I bet I can play any musical instrument!"
A bloke gives him a guitar, which he plays better than Jimmi Hendrix!
The 2nd bloke says "Bet you can't play the piano!"
The Octopus plays it better than Elton John!
Jock gives him bagpipes.
The octopus fumbles for a minute and looks confused.
Jock says "Ha, can ye nae play it?"
Octopus says "Play it? I'm going to **** it as soon as I can get its f**king pyjamas off!!" |
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M-Love
Moderate!
United Kingdom
376 Posts |
Posted - 26 Oct 2006 : 04:09:51
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What makes me laugh is that despite this being a site for semi serious rugby team type discussion the "Girl talk" section has the most posts! This ought to make the men ashamed, keep it up you "no-tails"!!
What does "wife" stand for? |
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gouldilocks
Who's the Daddy
United Kingdom
108 Posts |
Posted - 26 Oct 2006 : 13:20:15
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After great sex, she lies there stroking his penis!
He asks "Do you want more sex?"
"No" she replies, "I'm just admiring it......
......I really miss mine!!"
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Mr T
Wet behind the ears
Congo, Democratic Republic of
5 Posts |
Posted - 27 Oct 2006 : 15:18:17
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Knock Knock.....Who's there
Apple
Apple Who?
Knock Knock.....Who's there
Apple
Apple Who?
Knock Knock.....Who's there
Apple
Apple Who?
Knock Knock.....Who's there
Orange
Orange Who?
Orange ya glad that's over!
Go on laugh! You know it's funny |
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sexycoach
Living Legend
United Kingdom
538 Posts |
Posted - 28 Oct 2006 : 14:48:25
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Hey Mr T (and yes I do know who you are) Anymore filth like this and you will be removed! By the way can anyone explain Tommys joke about women??? |
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gouldilocks
Who's the Daddy
United Kingdom
108 Posts |
Posted - 29 Oct 2006 : 19:53:33
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| I rather think that Tommy thought he was being funny!! The only funny thing about it is that he obviously hasn't got a clue about women!! |
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Topic |
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Jokes
