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M-Love
Moderate!
United Kingdom
376 Posts |
Posted - 24 Jan 2007 : 23:53:21
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gouldilocks.....
Eat me! |
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mrsleech
Who's the Daddy
Bahamas
148 Posts |
 Posted - 25 Jan 2007 : 20:57:50
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Mr P Thrust don't tempt her or she might just eat you alive!! |
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mrsleech
Who's the Daddy
Bahamas
148 Posts |
Posted - 25 Jan 2007 : 21:03:45
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As to your question Gouldilocks I was meaning his verbal contributions, he's one very funny and talented guy. He has a wicked sense of humour. He is a classic and very talented. I've heard he's not bad with the old windowsill either!!!(sorry Mr P Thrust)  |
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mrsleech
Who's the Daddy
Bahamas
148 Posts |
Posted - 25 Jan 2007 : 21:05:35
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Hey look peeps I'm nearly a play-maker, get in you beauty. |
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mrsleech
Who's the Daddy
Bahamas
148 Posts |
 Posted - 25 Jan 2007 : 21:10:26
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| Hey and I've just noticed Mr P Thrust isn't far behind me b*****. Hey Sexy coach or Mr Web-master extraordinaire is there a prize for making play-maker status???????????????? |
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gouldilocks
Who's the Daddy
United Kingdom
108 Posts |
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sexycoach
Living Legend
United Kingdom
538 Posts |
Posted - 01 Feb 2007 : 13:35:25
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Just received this one!!
Thought you might like this
Sally :)
>
>
>
>If you receive an email en--wobbly jelly--led
>"Bedtimes" delete it IMMEDIATELY. Do not open it . Apparently this one
>is pretty nasty. It will not only erase everything on your hard drive,
>but it will also delete anything on disks within 20 feet of your
>computer. It demagnetises the stripes on ALL of your credit cards. It
>reprograms your ATM acc! ess code, screws up the tracking on your VCR,
>and uses subspace field harmonics to scratch any CD's you attempt to
>play. It will program your phone auto dial to call only 0898 numbers.
>This virus will mix antifreeze into your fish tank.
>IT WILL CAUSE YOUR TOILET TO FLUSH WHILE YOU ARE SHOWERING. It will
>drink ALL your beer. FOR GOD'S SAKE, ARE YOU LISTENING?? It will leave
>dirty underwear on the coffee table when you are expecting company. It
>will replace your shampoo with Immac and your Immac with Hair Restorer.
>If the "Bedtimes" message opened in a Windows 95/98 environment, it will
>leave the toilet seat up and leave your hair dryer plugged in
>dangerously close to a full bathtub. It will not only remove the
>forbidden tags from your mattresses and pillows, it will also refill
>your skim milk with whole milk.
>
>***
>WARN AS MANY PEOPLE AS YOU CAN. ***
>
>And if you don't send this to 5000 people in 20 seconds, you'll fart so
>hard that your right leg will spasm and shoot straight out in front of
>you, sending sparks that will ignite the person nearest you.
>Send this warning to everyone!!! THERE'S A LOT OF SADNESS IN THE WORLD!
>Right now, as you read this, 17 Million people are having SEX!!! And
>look at you -
>
>you're on the b****y computer!!!!
>
>
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mrsleech
Who's the Daddy
Bahamas
148 Posts |
Posted - 04 Feb 2007 : 18:04:33
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That one's hilarious Mrs Sexy-coach. Had me giggling for ages and hurrah I've now made 100 posts(come on Winty I'm sure you can catch up!!) |
Edited by - mrsleech on 04 Feb 2007 18:06:47 |
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mrsleech
Who's the Daddy
Bahamas
148 Posts |
Posted - 04 Feb 2007 : 18:09:23
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| Web-master my new --wobbly jelly--le's not very good Yo' da man. Bit sexist to us chatty lovely ladies!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
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arufc
Forum Admin
United Kingdom
288 Posts |
Posted - 04 Feb 2007 : 19:39:49
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| I'm quite happy to change it - what would you suggest? |
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sexycoach
Living Legend
United Kingdom
538 Posts |
Posted - 04 Feb 2007 : 20:46:28
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Webmaster what does Mrs Leech have that I don't have. I happen to mention I dont like my --wobbly jelly--le and you tell me to get stuffed!!!! |
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mrsleech
Who's the Daddy
Bahamas
148 Posts |
Posted - 04 Feb 2007 : 23:22:52
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| Don't mind my my --wobbly jelly--le Mr Web-master, as long as it's very good thank you very much! |
Edited by - mrsleech on 04 Feb 2007 23:24:49 |
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mrsleech
Who's the Daddy
Bahamas
148 Posts |
Posted - 04 Feb 2007 : 23:27:36
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| Maybe Sexy-coach I don't give him much grief, but what I'm really hoping for is he likes me very much(or he could be a wee bit scared of my other half!!!!) |
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sexycoach
Living Legend
United Kingdom
538 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2007 : 09:18:26
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Staggering Drunk
>>
>>Paddy staggered home very late and very drunk. He took off his shoes
>>to avoid waking the wife. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the
>>stairs leading to their bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step.
>>
>>As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around
>>and he landed heavily on his backside. A Guinness bottle in a back
>>pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. Managing not to
>>scream out loud, Paddy sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in
>>the hall mirror to see what damage he'd done.
>>
>>Bleeding from several cuts, he somehow managed to find a first aid kit
>>and began putting a Band-Aid as best he could on each place he saw
>>blood. He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and stumbled his
>>way into bed.
>>
>>In the morning, Paddy woke up with searing pain in both his head and
>>bottom and his wife staring daggers at him from across the room.
>>
>>She says, "So, you were staggering drunk last night Paddy, weren't you
>>now?
>>
>>Says Paddy, "Now why would you say such a thing?"
>>
>>"Well," she says, "it could be the open front door, it could be the
>>broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of
>>blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but
>>mostly....... it's all the Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror."
>>
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M-Love
Moderate!
United Kingdom
376 Posts |
Posted - 07 Feb 2007 : 16:18:09
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A very loud, unattractive, hard-faced woman walks into ASDA with her two kids in tow, screaming obscenities at them all the way through the entrance.
The door greeter says, "Good morning and welcome to ASDA Nice
children you've got there -- are they twins?"
The fat ugly woman stops screaming long enough to snarl: "Of
course they b****y aren't! The oldest, he's 9 and the younger one, she's 7.
Why the hell would you think they're twins?..... Do you think they look alike, ya dickead?"
Absolutely not," replies the greeter, "I just can't believe anyone would want to **** you twice!" |
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Funnies
Topic Locked
